Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Food Glorious Food

We all love food (some of us more than others).  Here are some of my favorite and least favorite foods in the USA, in completely random order.  There's even a bonus list at the end, of foods that should be the same but are soooooo not.


Anything Mexican:  Mexican food is to Americans what Indian food is to Brits.  Not quite as awesome as a good ol' Ruby Murray (cockney rhyming slang for curry my American readers), Mexican food is spicy, comforting, cheesy, tasty and perfect when accompanied by a Corona or a frozen margarita.

Anything Barbecue:  At home, we chuck some bangers, burgers, chicken and sometimes steak on the bbq in between the rain showers.  Over here, it's an art form.  The husband spends hours at his smoker and grill, creating the perfect, tender piece of meat complete with it's own smoke ring.  He makes his own rubs, sauces and glazes.  I am a lucky girl :)  BBQ Restaurants are everywhere, our favorite is Martin's BBQ Joint in Nolensville.  We spend way too much time here. 

Biscuits:  Flaky, buttery, salty and delicious.  They look like Scottish scones but are completely different.  Best eaten with apple butter, honey or just plain old butter. 

All You Can Eat Crab Legs:  I'm not usually a fan of All You Can Eat places, but crab legs?  How can you refuse?  It's easy to eat yourself into a crab coma over here.  Back home, the crab, while delicious and probably fresher than you get here, is ridiculously expensive and comes in very small portions.  'MERICA!!!!

Pumpkin, Pecan or Sweet Potato Pie:  My absolute favorite dessert.  Or breakfast.  Or whenever.  I could eat one whole and feel no guilt, because the pleasure of eating such pies cancels out any bad feeling.  I had only ever eaten apple or rhubarb pie before I met the husband.  Thank you husband for introducing me to these wondrous things :) 


Catfish:  Have you seen a catfish?  Sucking up crap along the bottom of dirty rivers and lakes?  Exactly.  Nuff said. 

The American version of Italian food:  If it's smothered in mozzarella cheese, says parmeggiano at the end or has overcooked pasta involved, people here go crazy for it.  Having lived in Italy, I can safely say that nowhere did I eat anything that remotely resembles what's offered up as Italian food here.  People here call pasta 'noodles'!  Pasta is pasta, noodles are Chinese! 

Velveeta:  Okay, after a few beers, this stuff can actually taste pretty good when made into a dip.  But it's completely processed, so much so that it doesn't need to be stored in the refrigerator until it's been opened. It's supposed to be cheese!!!  It's not cheese!!!  For me, it's a texture thing but I also don't like food that tastes like plastic. 

Buffet food - especially Golden Corral:  Adults and children, swarming around a huge offering of foodstuffs, all touching things, putting them back sometimes and just breathing germs in the direction of the food.  I'm getting the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.  People rave about these buffets, but to me, it's just a big old germ fest.  Buffets here are all over the place, not so much at home!


Beans:  At home, they are served in tomato sauce.  Delicious on top of toasted cheese, toast or just on their own.  A simple, low fat, comfort food.  Over here, they have pieces of bacon in them, they are sugary, and the sauce is kinda thick and syrupy.  So wrong on so many levels! 

Bacon:  You don't get back bacon in the States.  How I miss a proper bacon buttie!  Streaky bacon is okay, but sometimes you just don't want all that fat.  We get back and streaky at home, wonder why you don't get both over here?   

Chocolate:  We all know that chocolate over here tastes different from in the UK.  It is what it is.  What's really confusing though, is that some bars have the same name.  I got a shock when I bit into my first Milky Way in the States.  What's this caramel stuff?  Milky Ways are supposed to be light and fluffy!  Mars Bars are not the same either, so why the same name?  Ah the mysteries of the Universe :) 

Cereal:  Cereals here are definitely more sugary.  Who knows why!  On another note, E numbers are still legal over here but banned in the UK and Europe. 

Crisps:  Fancy a wee bag of crisps (known as chips over here) with your lunch?  First of all, good luck trying to find a 'wee' bag.  A huge bag is easy to find, but who can stop after just a few when there's a whole big bag, all open and inviting.  Maybe that's just me...!  Crisps here seem to be greasier and there's way less flavor options.  An exception to this is tortilla chips which are plentiful and taste-tastic :) I know Americans laugh at our UK crisp flavors, but man, I would kill for a wee bag of prawn cocktail or pickled onion crisps! 

There are, of course, a lot of other foods that I could ramble on about, but you'd be here all day.   Happy eating my friends and if you're in the UK, please go and have a bacon buttie with HP Sauce for me RIGHT NOW!!!

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