The Queen and I

Although I do enjoy meeting and talking to new people, I seem to be a magnet for strangers that ask me ridiculous questions upon hearing my accent.  This week, after standing for a long time listening to a stranger babble on to me about being 30% Scotch, 30% Irish, 30% Greek and 10% Italian (how is that even possible?!)  I was then asked by them if I knew the Queen or Prince Harry.  This person wasn't joking or having a laugh, they were being perfectly serious.  Backtracking a bit, just for the record, Scotch is actually whisky and Scottish is the proper term for being from Scotland.  But I digress.  No, I do not know the Queen or Prince Harry.  Yes, Britain is pretty small, but that doesn't mean we all live next door to each other and are bessie mates with the Royal Family!  I have seen the Queen before, albeit from a distance at events etc, but she's never invited me over for a cup of tea or a glass of champers.  Anyways, the babbling stranger reminded me of a few funny questions that I've been asked in the past by random strangers who were definitely not just having a laugh.  Here are a few gems for you!

"What is it with you Brits' bad teeth"?  Now I have been asked this in jest before and I do enjoy a bit of banter, but when a complete stranger asks you this with a totally straight face, it kind of renders you speechless.  That's like me saying  "What is it with your fat ass/hairy chin/tweety bird t shirt" to somebody I've never met before. How rude!  Sure, my teeth aren't perfect, but they're pretty white and straight with no holes!  I've seen people over here with way worse teeth than I've seen back home.  While it's true to say that us Brits aren't as a rule overly concerned about the appearance of our teeth, it doesn't mean we're all yellow and black toothed with huge holes in our smiles! 

 "My aunt's friend lives in Scotland, her name is Mary MacGregor.  Do you know her"?   A good response to this is "No, but my Mum's cousin lives in Florida.  Do you know her"? 

"Is it awful living in a communist country"?  Communist country?  Really?!  Do you remember Ronald, Maggie and the Cold War?!  There is no good response to this question which I have really been asked in the past.  A few people really do think that every country outside the US lives in fear of its government and has no freedom. 

"Is Scotland on the Pacific side of America"?  I thought this person was joking so I laughed out loud.  Unfortunately though, they weren't joking at all.  

"Do you have Christianity in Britain"?  LOL!  Although the population of Britain definitely isn't as church-going as it is in the US, Christianity in its various forms is still the number one religion there.   

So hopefully these will have given my friends, both British and American a good laugh without me coming across as being too harsh.  I have been asked countless more funny questions in the past, but I'd be here all day writing them down.  It's safe to say though, there is definitely never a dull moment when you're living somewhere you weren't born :)